Yo. I actually don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe I'm just way too bored. Maybe I just want to get someones attention. Who knows?

Well today I'm here to speak a bit about myself. Since most of the people actually may already know me, there has to be some special reason, which I don't even know. So I also don't know where to start, but maybe I'll just go ahead.

Well, my name is Pascal, which I hate, and I'm 16 for now but the really clever guys sure already noticed that this is also included in my profile. Anyway, I'm quite the strange guy, and my mood always changes, so I might just get depressed about nothing and well that can be annoying. Besides I'm one annoying person myself, since I'm getting on someones nerves pretty quick, but that fact can't be helped. Heh, what else should I say... hm maybe that I'm sometimes pretty rude, but that should be the same as the mentioned mood swings.

Next, let's have a look at my childhood. It was some pretty messed up childhood and I'm glad it's over, though I sometimes felt better than I do nowadays. Besides that my father actually raped my mom (well she mentioned something like that, actually never said it), and that they are divorced now, my stepfather played a big role in my life. He actually was the one and only person in my life who made me suffer like never before. It started like he was some nice guy my mother met. He acted quite friendly and wasn't suspicious at all, but that all changed with some strange incidents. Like he said I stole money from my mother, though I actually saw him doing it. And my mom wasn't clever enough to see through him. So in fact I got punished for things I haven't even done. And every morning in my life was horrible as well. Lol. I mean he was watching all the time over me, if I did something wrong he went berserk. Everytime I ate too fast, or everytime I drank "wrong", he punished me again. I really planned on running away from home, but that didn't seem like the best idea since I wouldn't be able to survive quite long. So the only way was to take it. I'm glad he was bad enough to make the police free me, since he went to jail a few years later. Stupidsh son of a pancake.

Well, regarding my academic works at that time, it actually affected me somehow. And speaking about school, I hate it. I mean, who doesn't hate school? But I don't hate it because of the reasons you do. To these days I prefered school than being home anyway. But I hate school because of the bullies. And also the fact that they are right. I mean bullying is a bad thing to do, but if they are right it's even more ass. I'm pretty much the shy guy, and I don't talk much in school, which makes me lack friends. I don't need friends though, most of them betray you anyway. Well, so I got used to these bullies and their doings, and that actually affected me somehow again. It really got me and I guess this is one of the reasons why I hate myself so much as I do.

Speaking of myself, the only thing that seems to matter in my life is love. I can't really tell if it's love or just the adolescent push to like girls that much. Anyway, it pretty much got me thinking. I can't really think of anything else. Everytime I'm depressed this somehow is because I realized that I'm one miserable creature that doesn't even get a girl. I mean I got so much love to give but nobody seems to want it. Lol. Well, I also can't say I ever fell in love. I don't even know how love feels. I had some internet relationships, but I was young when I had those and didn't think of it much. Now I know it was a mistake. Actually many mistakes. But that doesn't matter since that's not the point. So, speaking about girls, I haven't found a perfect one yet. I mean there sure are girls I know who are lovely, speaking of those I know online of course since a relationship in real life would be impossible for someone like me. But those seem to be, well, unreachable. They are so great and well, the way I think of myself I don't really seem to fit them. Apparently.

Regarding my dream girl, heh. She should be nice, really friendly and caregiving. Also, I'm looking for a strong woman. Not physically strong, mentally. Someone who can take the leader position in the relationship, if necessary. A shy girl isn't bad as well. I don't think two shy people fit each other, but they are pretty cute though. And I somehow love girls wearing glasses. Not all of them, but the most. The most important thing of course is, that she loves me. At least as much as I love her, or even more. I don't really care about how she looks. I mean, of course it's better if she looks good, but as long as she is that lovely, I don't freaking care. As some of you guys may have noticed, a girl like that doesn't exist, and if she does she won't like me. Since she can have much better ones.

Well, that's it, I'm amazed I wrote that much and I will be pretty pissed if like nobody intends to read this. But it's less embarassing this way. Kyah.

Glamurio