Dr. Frankenstein's Blog: Interviewing Igor ( "Borrowed" from Cracked.com)

It had been three days of interviews and I had found no one worthy to assist me in my experiments. I was beginning to think I would be forced to make history alone. After all, I was on the verge of unlocking the greatest mystery in the universe! Or at least one of the top three. The point is, I couldn't just pick anyone. I was about to recreate life, take dead tissue and make it undead, find what was once not alive and make it alive...okay, I think that covers it. Anyway, the one I would choose to stand by my side had to be someone special. Someone worthy of being associated with the name Frankenstein. And I had yet to meet him. Until today.

I noticed him immediately. He stuck out in a sea of sycophantic med students hungry to steal my fame. He lacked any pretense, guile or front teeth for that matter. He had a crooked back, hunched shoulders, and was covered in hair from head to toe. In addition, he displayed a very proud string of drool that connected his chin to his wrinkled shirt. How refreshing, after three days of career hungry clones with brilliant minds and perfect posture, to see this man walk in and, without shame, scratch his testicles over and over again. This man wasn't here to put my name on his resume, nor was he here to unlock the secrets of life and death. No, this poor wretched creature had loftier goals. Either that or he was in the wrong room, which was entirely possible. His eyes were pretty badly crossed.

From my office window I watched this man look down the row of young boys filling out applications. Confused, he grunted at one of them. The youth looked up from above his glasses to see the snarling tatterdemalion walking toward him, gesturing for his clipboard. The young man smiled, nervously, and looked at the others around him for support -- all of which were doing their best to ignore the situation.

"The applications are on the desk over there," the young man said,...