* There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
* A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
* The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
* At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
* Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."

* Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
* Hit any user to continue.
* I wish life had an UNDO function.
* If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
* It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive.
* Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait

* My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
* Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
* "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
* Life's unfair - but root password helps!
* Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

* "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
* Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
* Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
* BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding

* BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
* As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
* Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
* Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

* All wiyht. Rho...

She's a big fat fuckin' bitchhh-aaah!


* Your Mother is SO fat, her blood-type is Ragu!
* Your mom (mum) is so fat that there is a law that here corsets cannot be narrower than her schwarzchild radius.
* Yo mama is so fat she got arrested at the airport for having 200 pounds of crack!
* Your mom is so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds math m/s.
* Your mom is so big and fat that hikers mistaken her anus for a cave opening!
* Your mom had Rutgers University for lunch, Princeton University for dinner, and has the University of California as a teddy bear.
* Your mom is so fat, Naruto doesn't believe it!
* Your mom is so fat she swallowed my mom whole.
* yo momma so fat, she comes from both sides of the family
* Your mom is so fat that when she walks in front of the TV I miss all the ads
* Your mom is so fat the city had to dig a hole through her for traffic to pass through.
* Your mom is so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
* Your mom is so fat, when Chris Farley tried to have sex with her he got lost for six days. When he came back out, he had a pet crab named Alfred.
* Your mom is so fat her weight is the same as her phone number (with the area code).
* Your mums so fat the NASA actually orbits her.
* Yo momma is so fat, she started the Revolution revolution!
* Yo momma so fat, when she gets on the scales it says "to be continued..."
* The escape velocity at your mom's surface exceeds 3 * 10^8 m/s.
* Your mom did not understand the previous comment. It means her mass is roughly 500 times that of Sol, the sun.
* Your mom is so fat, that when god created the earth and said let there be light he asked your mom to move!
* Your mom is so fat, that your dad rolled over three times and he was still on top of her.
* Your mum is so fat that I decided to sleep with her, just to say I had.
* Your mom is so fat she can't pay the phone bill.
* What country is so fat that is makes your mom look slim?...

* Your Mom is like a Bowling Ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more.
* Your Mom only lets your friends over for sleep-overs because she gets a little action with them while you sleep.
* Your Mom was good last night and I left her money under the pillow.
* Your Mom gives great hummers!
* Don't worry, Your Mom is still a virgin. You were a backdoor baby.
* Your mom is like Home Depot, only 5 cents a nail!
* Your Mom is Chief Test Engineer for the Jack Rabbit Massager Corporation.
* Your Mom is like a tornado, first there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then she takes your house
* When someone shivers, she uses them as a vibrator.
* She stars in half the hentai videos ever made.
* She has done the characters in all your video games.
* Your mom has blown off all the dudes in Slipknot, and some of the girls for the hell of it.
* Your mom also enjoys using ben-wa gerbils.
* Your mom is a cam whore!
* Your mom bangs like a shit-house door in a Force 9 gale.
* Your Mom wears crotchless panties. And a Peep Hole bra.
* Your Mom uses duo-balls to relieve the tedium of shopping.
* Your mom is the lady on those truck mudflaps.
* She has hepatitus A-Ω. Now it is expanding to the Japanese language
* The term motherfucker refers, specifically, to Your Mom.
* In a year's time, another term, far worse than motherfucker, will gain currency. It will be so scatologically vile that most nations will establish crimes for its usage. It, too, will refer, specifically, to Your Mom.
* Your Mom knows the exact come-on line which lead to your conception.
* Your mom got so high once at a Jimmy Buffett concert that she threw her panties at a stuffed parrot, but that doesn't mean it's okay for you and your friends to waste your lives on the devil weed.
* Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man on your mum.
* Your mom did the UN yesterday.
* She's worse than Paris Hilton. And that's...

The Fact that you view my profile, spy on me and read this blog means that you have got absolutely No Life and are totally Bored at this time!

so... while your here why not enjoy some nice music?
you'd better have DivX!
(click the image)